Obviously I needed to buy a yoga mat and DVD right away if I was going to be successful at getting healthy. That’s what I told myself as I pulled into the Target parking lot. I left the store excited about the cute chocolate brown and teal mat and the thrill of something new. I had already written “yoga” on the day’s to do list. I felt good. I was going to get it done.
My happy, let’s do this attitude didn’t last long. On my way home from work that day, I started feeling guilty about not sticking to the budget I had just created for myself earlier that week. My thoughts turned to shame as I thought about how much money I can spend on trivial things. The truth is, I’ve gotten really good at convincing myself that I need something.
I’ve always dismissed materialism as one of those sins I don’t have a problem with. After all, it’s okay to have things. I know the difference between having things and knowing who my real priority is. I never thought of myself as someone who focused on stuff until that day driving home. I started to realize how much emphasis I’ve put lately on buying and shopping and having. Jokingly, I’ve called myself a shopaholic before, but I never thought it was a serious problem. As my guilt increased over that yoga mat and DVD, the truth hit me in the face – if I wasn’t careful, materialism was going to continue to take over my life.
It was heavy stuff for a Thursday afternoon drive home. Me being materialistic is not just because I bought a yoga mat. It’s because of all I’ve spent this year on little things and even some big things. Now, I’m not saying that we are going bankrupt because of my spending habits. I know I’m not out of control, but I’m worse than I should be. This is one of those little things that I realized could add up and cause a big problem. I thought I was just fine. I thought I wasn’t materialistic – Satan and the world of advertising and blogs had convinced me I was fine. Satan is tricky like that.
After thinking some more, I realized that my real problem lied in where my focus was. I wasn’t being a good steward of money. I claim my two top priorities are God and my family. I haven’t put my money where my mouth is like I should. That $39 I spent at Target could have been used for so many other things. At the beginning of the year, I made it a goal to save this year for our future family. I’ve failed miserably. I knew it was time to focus less on stuff and more on our future.
I did what I needed to do. I stopped at Target to return the yoga mat and DVD. When I got home, I put leashes on Bailey and Charlie and took them for a walk instead of doing the yoga I had planned. It was the best walk.
Have you ever realized you’ve had a problem with something you didn’t think you did?