I love you, but I’m not ready for you just yet. Can you come back in a few weeks? I wanted to cry when I flipped my monthly planner page to you this morning. You reminded me what a busy month you are. Then I started seeing people welcome your arrival with pure joy of the kind I just can’t fake right now. They were saying things like “3 weeks till Thanksgiving” and “just 50 something days until Christmas” and “time to decorate”. I panicked. “Not yet”, I silently pleaded with you, but you didn’t answer.
You see, I wrote this post in October full of rosy plans and dreams for my favorite month of the year. I failed at some and succeeded at others, but I just ran out of time. Then you came and took away October when I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
It’s not like I don’t love the Holidays.
See, here I am last year with M. We love Christmas! But I’m just not ready. There’s too much to do. I need a few weeks to prepare. To make things. To save money for gifts and such. To finish October. To catch up on sleep. Then we can get back to celebrating you, dear November.
I hope you understand.